Of outfits and Johnny Depp

It has been a rough couple of weeks. I'm not talking about work, family or love, but more on my mental stability. Things went pretty cray cray because of how my mind rationalised things when it's wonky.

 

To be really honest, it's because of a weak mental stability. I worry too much, think too much and blame myself too much. A tiny dosage of that is great for success, but an excessive amount is unhealthy. I admit that I have a psychological problem that is slowly devouring my sanity. What Kengyang said was true though - I need to occupy myself more at home and I need to get rid of people who make me feel terribly bad about myself.

 

I have been working on that these past couple of weeks and I'm slowly getting back to normal now. Nobody knows about this bug in me except for Kengyang because I simply don't want to let people know. But I realised that if I hide everything to myself, it's slowly going to affect my relationships with other people. Sad being a sad kid/adult.

 

It gets a bit extreme. Now I can type everything out nonchalantly because I'm over this round of viciousness. But, I know another round is coming, I just don't know when.

 

Anyway, extreme like - when people don't reply my whatsapp/sms, I will first hate the person for doing that, then it will slowly evolve into self-blame (people hate me so they don't reply me), and then it will take over me entirely for that night and I will cry myself to sleep (occasionally with shaking fingers). You may think I'm being too overdramatic in terms of my description, but no, that's just a normal thing that I go through whenever the bug hits me. Something so small and easily reasoned out (the person is sleeping/the person is in the toilet/the person is busy so cannot reply) can escalate into something so irrational and disgusting.

 

It's a painful process, but I'm getting it less and less these days. That's an improvement right? I don't want to rely on anti-depressants so I normally just cry to sleep when needed. That's also an improvement right? But ohmygawd the puffy eyes that I get the day after is no joke. D:

 

Sorry for ranting so much about my strange mind. I feel slightly better typing this down. Let's work into making this craziness go away! Anyone with the same mental problem also? Can you please tell me how to slowly make this go away? It's so easy when people say, "aiyah just don't think so much loh!" or "drink tea/eat chocolate can already", but no it's not that simple okay.

 

OKAY LET'S MOVE ON TO OUTFITS. HAHA.

 

Freaking IN LOVE with my H&M Johnny Depp tanktop. I want to wear it EVERYDAY.

 

Blazer: Cotton On

Tank: H&M

Jeans: New Future

Bag: Qoo10

Shoes: FEP

 

That single day when I went crazy and had this combination on my legs. I now cringe at it, but aiyah what to do, I really love my Pokemon socks.

Leggings: Taobao
Socks: Pokemon Centre
Boots: Cotton On

Ah, pretty pastel glittery nails! Rediscovered my Innisfree nailpolishes and fell in love all over again! :D

Kengyang and I chillaxing at the S.E.A. Aquarium after squeezing with n number of tourists.

My outfit for my birthday celebration at S.E.A. Aquarium! It was a blazing hot day and a flowy top + shorts combo is a must!

Top: Forever 21
Shorts: Forever 21
Necklace + Bag: Qoo10
Platform sandals: Taobao

Kengyang bought me this pair of lace denim shorts! YAY! :) It was originally S$75.90, but was on sale for S$19.90. SCORE! It's a bit short at the sides but I'm wearing it low-waisted to prevent accidental indecency ahaha.

Jeans makes me look fat :( But jeans are comfy so WHATEVER.

Top: Forever 21
Jeans: Uniqlo
Shoes: Cotton On
Bag: Qoo10

Denim top (inner): Uniqlo
Stripe sweater: Gu Japan
Shorts: Forever 21
Boots: Cotton On
Bag: Qoo10

I think I need to cut my hair soon. My fringe is so long, it's tickling every part of my face every time a slight wind is present. Major irritating.

Yes I'm repeating outfits. HAHAHA. I still remember in year 1, Wang and I had a pact to not repeat clothes at all for an entire semester. We both passed  but now I think it's a bit silly because I would want to rewear my favourite clothes right??

YAYYYY pretty bracelets from Taobao have arrived!! They are all kind of filmsy but I think I can turn them into necklaces if the bracelets break! YAY #harrypotter #hungergames FOREVER. :D

Have a great week ahead guys!! :))