2015 has been a messy year for me. I felt a lot of stagnance, like I'm not progressing in any aspect of my life. Work was great, but I wasn't 100% committed. Family problems were getting better, but I was avoiding a lot of troubles (i.e. I chose to avoid than to solve). My relationship with Kengyang was stable, but my insecurities led to my uncontrollable anger outbursts. My skin condition spiralled way out of control and so did my weight. Basically, I was pimply, plump and pathetic.
It took a lot of courage to admit that I was starting to head into the depression realm again. I always blamed PMS for my mood swings, but they were getting out of hand. So, it's time to take control of the situation.
Work: A recent talk with my bosses boosted my confidence and I'm determined to be a better employee. One who takes her job more seriously and one who will strive to serve clients better so as to bring only positive remarks about the company. I used to be very whiny about my work, so I need to stop being such a complain monster!
Family: 2 more years till I move out! I can't solve family problems and participating in arguments only lead to more problems, so being zen in times of chaos is the way to go.
Love: Sometimes I wonder what honorable deed I did in my past life to deserve such a great boyfriend. Other than Kengyang, I don't think anyone else can put up with me. Even I cannot take myself. I need to keep this temper in check.
Skin: Enough is enough. Facials only fixed the acne situation momentarily and spending tons and tons of money on skincare products will only lead to more irritated skin. I consulted a dermatologist on the last day of 2015 and I decided to be put on accutane/roaccutane. It's a long process (explained as 8-9 months) and the side effects are aplenty. But a full course completed has around 10% chance of recurrence - meaning 90% of patients will never get acne again in their lives. So, I'm willing to take the chance. I'm on day 13 today, and so far I'm not enjoying the initial breakouts, but I will persevere.
Weight: It's obvious that I have gained weight and it's time to do something about it. I'm now so scared of weighing myself because I don't want to get shocked by the numbers that I see. It's time to lose those inches and be happier again!
I'm not saying that my 2015 was entirely terrible. I love all my friends who made my year much easier to get by. I don't have a lot of friends, but those that I have are really precious to me and I wouldn't want to lose any of them.
Let's hope 2016 will be more pleasant and placid. Have a great year guys! :)
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