Weekend Brooding

My friends and acquaintances currently fall into two broad categories:

1. Graduate --> Work --> Get HDB --> Get married --> Travel a while --> Have children
2. Graduate --> Work --> Further their studies/travel/both at the same time

Sometimes I wonder what my heart wants me to do and whether I'll be able to do what heart wants me to do. I have a great job in a great company with great colleagues. I complain sometimes to close friends and family but I still appreciate being able to work in my area of interest and being able to learn and grow my knowledge and skills every single working day.

I also am going to select my HDB unit soon with Kengyang and it's both exciting and nerve-wrecking. If we can secure the unit of our choice, then we have less than 5 years to do what our hearts want us to do. After that, we have to go the normal route and get our marriage registered in order to get our first home.

Do I really want to stay in Singapore the entire 4 plus years? I have many grand plans of travelling to exotic places, but it's not that easy to just take off. I'm not one to quit and pursue what my heart wants. I constantly need the feeling of security and stability, and having a job fulfills that need. Also, I don't hate my job. In fact, I love my job despite some challenging days.

But of course, that nudge in my heart keeps making me question my decisions.

The only solution I can think of is to work and travel at the same time. No idea how this will turn out, but it's worth discussing with my bosses right? I'm going to Copenhagen in September to visit the company headquarters and learn from my talented Danish colleagues. I'm looking forward to it and it will be a week whereby I find out if I can do the whole work-away-from-home thing.

This reminds me of my exchange days. The first few months I was enjoying myself immensely. However, I became incredibly homesick (and of course this was when Kengyang decided to contact me again after our break-up and we decided to give the relationship one more try) and all I wanted to do was stay in my bed till the time came for me to fly home. I wonder if I have changed at all?

Kengyang and I both decided that if we were given the chance to work overseas, we'll take up the chance even if that meant both of us will be separated for quite some time. I guess the wanderlust (I hate using this word but well it's what we're feeling) is too strong now.

Moving on to beauty/health related issues, I realised as I grow older, I get more concerned with everything and anything that goes inside my body. Am I eating too much? Am I eating healthy? Do I need more supplements? Maybe some expensive juices? How about intense, daily exercising? To work on health now is an investment for the future right? I don't want to accumulate bill after bill when I'm old just because I didn't take care of myself properly when I could.

This is becoming such a ramble haha thank you for reading guys. :)

Ok, I promise this is the last turn.

I spent over S$1000 last week on a 10-session acne-targeted facial. In the past, I would have shunned such an idea. But now, oral antibiotics and topical medication don't really work on my acne anymore and I'm so tired of buying new products and praying that they will work for my skin (most of the time, they don't). So, I plunged and swiped my card. After the first trial session last Tuesday, I felt both liberated and foolish - yes I finally made an expensive decision and I have the financial power to do so, but was it a good decision? Will I get cheated/conned by this beauty salon? I went home with a surgical mask on my face (I had bio-tech extraction done on the problem areas and I didn't look very good with all the redness, so I asked for a mask, and they gladly gave one to me!) and throughout the bus ride home, I silently prayed for miracles, and I prayed that my money would not be wasted.

It has been 3 days since the facial, and I'm feeling amazing. The bumps are gone, the many tiny spots are gone and the painful cystic demons are gone. I still have scars and redness but those are concealed easily with BB cream and concealer. In the past, my foundation routine took bloody ages because I hate dthe tiny spots and I wanted to conceal as much as possible. Today, I finished applying BB cream and concealer in less than 5 minutes because all I had to cover was the scarring and redness. Indeed, the facial has worked and I'm freaking thankful. My next session will be after my Hong Kong trip and I cannot wait for it!! Once I'm done with 5 sessions and if after 5 sessions my skin still looks good and manageable, I'll share with you guys the salon! :)

OMG such a long post. Yikes.

Have a great weekend guys! :)