My heart is torn apart...

I'm so confused when it comes to shoes. One side of my mind advices me to get fake ones, but the other side pushes me to get the real ones. Then, my heart will tell me to ask for ch-ching ch-ching to get one of these babies, but the brain will reprimand me and remind me to get something more practical, like iPhone 5. WHAT TO DO WHAT TO DO.

Jeffrey Campbell Lita in Black Distressed Leather

Jeffrey Campbell Lita in Chartreuse Green Velvet

Jeffrey Campbell Lita in Multi Glitter (If I buy this, I will be like a kid let loose in a toy store. Jumping around every now and then and then sprain my ankle. No kidding.)

Jeffrey Campbell Sassy in Black Suede

OR MAYBE.

I should get iPhone 5 this year. And then when my internship period comes, I SHALL BUY USING MY PAY. NYAHAHAHA.

Insecurities

It's one of those annoying rituals once again. One in which you feel extremely disgusted with every inch of your existence, one in which you just want to hide in a corner and cry.

I know I'm not ugly, but the twisted society keeps reminding me of how I don't belong. It's a society where everyone judges everyone else from the surface.

Just the other day, I was observing a young girl, not older than 15, and she was rather curt with her words. She was passing remarks about practically everyone in the train and her friend just stupidly agreed with her every word. Then a rather plump girl came in and she was wearing shorts that didn't flatter her figure at all and instead made her look fatter. Thank goodness I had my shades on because I was staring at her so much. I have to explain myself here. I was staring because I was comparing myself to her and thinking if I was fatter than her or not. The young, rather rude girl was not so apologetic, she immediately commented harshly about her size. Then, the plump girl bent down to tie her shoelaces, and once again this young girl commented on how she was being a nuisance to the public by taking up so much space.

I feel sorry for the plump girl because that was how I was treated growing up and because of that I have almost negligible confidence in myself; constantly looking at the mirror and finding fault with what's looking back just to ensure that I can avoid such brusque comments.

The fact that I have gained weight over the past 2 years also do not make things better. I feel judged incessantly by people I know and don't.

I'm surrounded by skinny girls and guys who think that being skinny is the norm. How to feel good in myself you tell me?

Yes I know I shouldn't give a damn about how people think but for a person that lack so much self-love, I only can depend on others for assurance, and I'm not getting much.

I feel sad now...

Review: Tony Moly Backstage Gel Eyeliner

Ever since Ga-In (Brown Eyed Girls) mentioned that Tony Moly's Backstage Gel Eyeliner was her staple, I have been lemming and lemming.

However, Tony Moly is ridiculously overpriced in Singapore, and I could not bring myself to spend a fortune on a Korean drugstore brand. Gmarket is a savior, because I got mine for S$10.90, inclusive of shipping from Korea! :)

Here's the link to the Gmarket page: http://list.gmarket.com.sg/item/TONYMOLY-TONYMOLY-BIG-SALE-BACKSTAGE-GEL/401332631

The seller was kind enough to include several samples from skinfood and Missha.

The eyeliner is designed in such a way that the cap hides the brush. Quite gimmicky in my opinion, but I realised the wonders of this design when I used it.

When you detach the brush from the cap, you will realise that there is a considerable amount of length that you can grip onto when applying the eyeliner. This is rather advantageous for beginners because the design enables maximum control for sleek and clean application.

The brush will be a dear to work with if an individual love a thick eyeliner look. For those who prefer to apply a thin layer close to the lashline, the brush may prove to a problem and need some getting used to because of its wide-headed design.

Pigmentation of the eyeliner itself is not bad, but not fantastic either. I am quite sure it's because of the rather runny consistency of the product. Other gel eyeliners (i.e. L'oreal, Maybelline) have a thicker consistency that ensures a succesful one-time application. Tony Moly's, however, is on the more liquid side and hence you have to go over your first application after it dries for a blacker line. Without the second or third application, the line just look streaky.

I must admit that the blackness of the eyeliner is quite remarkable though.

Swatches with flash:

Here's a look I did with Tony Moly Backstage Gel Eyeliner! Quite difficult to see the actual line, so pardon me for not taking up a close-up picture.

The eyeliner lasts quite long even in this humid weather! I think the longevity of this product can be enhanced with the usage of a good eyelid primer that minimises oil excretion on the lids. The eyeliner started to smudge after a good 9 hours, so that IS QUITE AWESOME! :D

Overall, it's a good drugstore eyeliner with a nifty brush, but I will not spend its atrocious pricetag in Singapore to get it!

Narcissistic Mode

MUST CUT HAIR TOMORROW.

Unplugged 2011 was awesome! Kudos to the 18th CI CLUB for the planning and execution! :D Really enjoyed the music, ALL DAMN AWESOME.

Can't even sleep at 248am. Body clock really screwed.

ASOS + Gmarket Haul

Coming back to Singapore = shopping = converting everything into Swedish Crowns = shocked at how cheap everything is = hole in bank getting bigger.

Oh well.

SNSD on Ray Japan August 2011 Issue

WAWA SNSD LEEE! :D

Excitement-inducing list

• At least twice a week I will cook my own lunch and dinner, which will consist of vegetables and fruits and lean meats! Maybe brown rice too! OOH I shall buy muesli for breakfast!
• Be gone carbonated drinks!
• A glass of jasmine green tea every morning
• 500ml of water finished 3 hours before bed time
• Eve and Chaychay coming back from Korea on the 26th!
• Cutting my fringe!
• 200 crunches + 50 situps a day
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2
• Raiding my mom's closet without her knowledge to spot potential office wear for internship
• Brown Eyed Girl's COMEBACK
• Embracing life and Singapore to the best of my ability because even though the weather is ultimate of foulness, this is a beautiful country. I LOVE YOU SINGAPORE.

OOTDs from another century.

It's almost two weeks since I have been back and I have slowly grown accustomed to the awful weather. So looking forward to the monsoon season. Rain rain rain please come now!

Finally got to meet my awesome awesome BFFs last Sunday, and it was Mela's birthday as well! Now that we are all 21, we can't really do stupid things anymore, hur? It was nice meeting them again after SO LONG, and the Korean BBQ that we had was rather fantastic too! Can't wait for the next meeting, take loads of care you two!!

Some outfit of the days from way back then. Looking at some of these photos make me miss my old room in Lappis, but NO I will never go on an exchange in Sweden ever again. :S

Over exposed. Sheesh.

AND WEE BACK IN MY HOUSE! :D

Upcoming next: some awesome photos from WKWSCIFOC'11! :D

Review: Wet n Wild Coloricon Eyeshadow Collection

I have to thank Lily for these eyeshadow palettes because wet n wild is not available in Singapore and her online beauty store has these palettes available for purchase! :)

Here is her beauty blogshop: http://under-twenty20.blogspot.com

She sells products that are not found in Singapore like Lush, Mario Badescu, Physician Formula and many more! Do support her! :)

She gave me two of the palettes as gifts and I figure I should review them because of the mountains and mountains of accolades that these palettes have received. Being the skeptical me, I always want to try things out myself and not rely that much on other reviews.

Wet n Wild released 3 different palettes and I have 736 Petal Pusher and 738 Comfort Zone. Petal Pusher consists of eyeshadows of the purple and mauve family - very flattering for green-eyed girls. Comfort Zone consists of shades of greens and browns - highly suitable for those with brown eyes!

These palettes come with the eyeshadows embossed with the words "browbone", "eyelid", "crease" and "definer" to guide one's application (complete with a visual example at the back of the palette), however, I find it kind of superfluous. For those with a rebellious streak, these words kind of irk you because who says you can't use a definer shade as an eyelid shade? It's just a pet peeve of mine - seriously DO NOT like it when companies try to guide which colours are used for which areas. Yes, it's very useful for beginners and yes it's highly convenient for those who hates to be creative, but embossing the words on the cakes is a little bit too much no?

Maybe just stick to numbers and visual representations next time. Much like what the Japanese cosmetic companies like to do.

Wet n Wild Coloricon Eyeshadow Collection in 736 Petal Pusher

Purples tend to look more classy than blues and they pair well with neutrals, as illustrated by this palette. Personally, I like the bronze "eyelid" colour because of the specks of gold in it. The sparkly bluish purple "definer" colour is also very striking and it will look gorgous on the lower eyelid.

Swatches with flash:

These eyeshadows did not come with names.

Swatches are taken from the left row down and then the right row down.

Swatches with flash:

Eyeshadow colours from the left row:

These colours swatched very poorly. I was quite disappointed at how meagerly pigmented the highlight colour (most left) was. I had to layer and layer the colour and still this was what turned out. SHEESH.

The "definer" colour that I loved so much by looks alone also disappointed me. It looks more purple than bluish-purple and it is so similar to the "crease" colour just beside it! it's as if the manufacturer got lazy with creating new colours and just used the same colour but upped the glitter factor.

The right row proved to be more comforting. All these were swatched with one swipe, so that's a pleasant fact to know. They are highly pigmented and they are not powdery at all. Many drugstore eyeshadows have the tendency to be extra powdery, making application a bitch, but I can see myself enjoying applying these colours.

Wet n Wild Coloricon Eyeshadow Collection in 738 Comfort Zone

I believe this is one of the more popular palettes because of the beautiful neutral colours. The greens are also interesting and the "definer" colour on the right is TO-DIE-FOR. It's like a taupe-green colour with shitloads of fine-milled green and bronze glitter. I have never seen such a colour before and ohmygosh I was in a trance when I saw it. :D

Swatches with flash:

Swatches are taken from the left row down and then the right row down.

This palette was more encouraging because the colours swatched so easily and the pigmentation rivals those high-end eyeshadows.

Swatches with flash:

Eyeshadow colours from the left row:

The neutral side dissatisfy my fixation with pigmented brown colours. The colours were easy to apply and very easy to blend.

Swatches with flash:

Eyeshadow colours from the right row:

The more willful side of the palette with the crazy "definer" colour. This swatch did not do the colour justice at all because in real life it is simply heavenly.

In conclusion, these palettes are worth the splurge (okay, there's no splurge! these palettes are cheapo cheap) because of the quality. Of course, some will be better than others and I would recommend Comfort Zone more than Petal Pusher.

Ratings:

736 Petal Pusher: 3/5

738 Comfort Zone: 5/5

Review: Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-on Eye Pencils 15 Year Anniversary Collection

This is another one of my acquisitions while I was away for exchange. I have to thank Huiling for helping me go down to Sephora and purchase this before the set sold out.

$160 is not a small sum to spend on cosmetic product, but if you do the math, each eye pencil will cost approximately S$10-S$11, and that is not bad at all, considering that drugstore eyeliners are more expensive and the quality of these are much better.

The 24/7 Glide-on Eye Pencils 15 Year Anniversary Collection is a limited edition set and if you are lucky, you may be able to still get it in stores or online.

The set comes with 9 of Urban Decay famous eyepencils and 6 newly formulated shades, including the blackest of all blacks, Perversion (middle of the set), and an eyepencil sharpener, aptly named the Grind House. Urban Decay and their funky names. Only NARS can rival such eccentric product names.

Colours (left to right):

Stray Dog, Corrupt, Bourbon, Midnight Cowboy, Baked, Stash, Mildew, Perversion, Electric, Binge, Ransom, Asphyxia, Rockstar, Zero and Uzi.

The rather nifty sharpener that came along with the set. I cannot think of a better accompaniment to this set. I tried this sharpener already and it was an exemplary sharpener. Usually cheap sharpeners are equipped with blades that are too sharp or hard and most of the time, that causes lead breakage. Hence the existence of the tip to put your eyeliners in the freezer for a good hour first before sharpening them. BUT THAT IS EXTREMELY TROUBLESOME, DON'T YOU AGREE?

This sharpener has a blunter blade and so it's perfect for the soft eyepencil lead. You get sharp eyepencils with minimal breakage. Halo to multiple thumbs up!

Swatches (with flash)

Colours (from left to right):

Stray Dog, Corrupt, Bourbon, Midnight Cowboy, Baked, Stash, Mildew, Perversion, Electric, Binge, Ransom, Asphyxia, Rockstar, Zero and Uzi.

For people with an eyeliner fetish, this set is specially made FOR YOU. I almost got a headache yesterday morning trying to decide on which colour to use. So word of warning: this will lengthen the time that you use for applying makeup.

The colour payoff for the eye pencils are not all similar. Some are much more spectacular than others, and as expected, the darker colours are more pigmented than the lighter colours. Midnight Cowboy (fourth from the right), however, is an anomaly because it's a gorgeous inner lid highlight colour and the colour payoff is amazing!

Perversion, of course, is the star of the set. I always thought Zero is a phenomenal black eyeliner, but no, Urban Decay does not want to be just phenomenal and so here comes Perversion! A much blacker version of Zero (in the photo, Perversion is in the middle of all swatches, and Zero is second from the right) and applies so much smoother. I need to use this sparingly because if I don't I'm going to have a difficulty finding a back-up due to it being a limited edition product. I foresee Urban Decay re-promoting the product with some other sets in the future and I will grab it when that happens, but for now, I shall be stingy.

I'm disappointed with Ransom and Asphyxia (fifth and fourth from the right respectively) because of how patchy they apply. For other colours, I can get the full pigmented colour just through one swipe, but with these two, even after going through the same line over and over again, the colour is still patchy and uneven. These 2 colours are not recommended for usage on the lid alone because the colours are not striking enough. Maybe a similar-shade eyeshadow can help bring out the colour of these eyepencils.

It's no secret that Urban Decay 24/7 Eye Pencils are super lasting, and this set definitely do not disappoint! However, Perversion should be used with care because it tends to transfer to the eyelids after half a day or so because it's so pigmented. So for those with double eyelids, who like to apply a thick black line and who live in Singapore and are suffering from this crazy humid weather, use Perversion cautiously.

The box that came with the set is so useful! :) I removed the foam container and now it contains all my eyeliners! Storage-wise, SCORE! :)

Once again, no ratings for this because I AM COMPLETELY BIASED.

Review: Urban Decay NAKED Palette

When Urban Decay first launched the NAKED Palette (I think it was in April-May of 2010), I knew I had to get it and I also knew I had to wait a long while before I can get my hands on it. Urban Decay is one sly and smart company; releasing a palette consisting only of neutrals will create chaos and UD knows that, so they released one just like that, packaged it sleekly complete with a suede brown outer cover and yes the world went mad.

After approximately 1.5 years, I FINALLY HAVE THE NAKED PALETTE. I have to thank Eve Yeo for going down to Sephora to help me purchase it when it was back in stock! YAY EVE!

And this is my gleeful face every time I think about the NAKED Palette that's inside my makeup cabinet. :D

The first edition of the NAKED Palette consisted of the 12 neutrals and a double-ended 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencils in ZERO and WHISKY. After the first edition sold out in record timing, subsequent editions consisted of the 12 neutrals and an eyeshadow brush instead. All editions come with a mini Eyeprimer Potion.

Personally I will prefer the double-ended eye pencils because I ADORE them, but the eyeshadow brush is not too shabby, so I'm sold! UD even named the brush Good Karma Shadow Brush - highlighting the fact that it's not made of animal hair. Such cuteness just to name a brush, as expected from Urban Decay.

Colours from left to right:

Virgin, Sin, Naked, Sidecar, Buck, Half Baked, Smog, Darkhorse, Toasted, Hustle, Creep and Gunmetal

The palette is a mixture of matte, metallic and shimmery eyeshadows, with one exceptionally glittery one - Sidecar.

Judging from past UD palettes and this palette, I have to say that I still hate the glittery eyeshadows from UD. Sidecar is a beautiful champagne colour that will look fantastic at the inner corners of the eyelid, but the glittery chunks make it so uncomfortable to wear! Chunks of glitter will be inside your eyes after application and irritation is ALWAYS inevitable.

Other than that sole disappointment, the other 11 colours are simply to-die-for. A palette just for neutrals, complete with highlight colours and darker colours for smoky looks.

Pigmentation-wise, the matte shades are not as pigmented as the shimmery/metallic colours, but they are buildable, hence you still can apply the matte colours on your lids, with the colours being similar to what you see on the palette, but with more number of applications. More troublesome, but you will get there!

My favourite colours from this palette are (how can you even choose one favourite colour from this palette?) Sin, Smog, Darkhorse and Hustle. If I have to choose the ultimate of all ultimates, it will be Smog, and I'm glad I have Smog in 3 different palettes! :)

Swatches (with flash)

Colours (from left to right):

Virgin, Sin, Naked, Sidecar, Buck, Half Baked, Smog, Darkhorse, Toasted, Hustle, Creep and Gunmetal

Swatches (lighter, more wearable colours, with flash):

Colours (from left to right):

Virgin, Sin, Naked, Sidecar, Buck and Half Baked

Swatches (darker and more vampy (HEH) colours with flash):

Colours (from left to right):

Smog, Darkhorse, Toasted, Hustle, Creep and Gunmetal

The rating scale doesn't even do this palette justice because IT IS MORE THAN A PERFECT SCORE.

I already foresee myself using this palette everyday! Shall hug it to sleep now. YAY TO URBAN DECAY NAKED PALETTE! :)